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Friday, March 05, 2010

Down lately.....
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The start of the month was rather tough for me to handle
I got to meet deadlines, trying to key in all data starting from July 09 - Jan 10
as quickly as possible, because my "contract" ends by this month and I wanted a
break before school actually starts at mid April.

aside from that, I was crushed.. badly crushed, emotionally
here's the whole story ( I can't believe I'm actually typing this out )
I was randomly surfing Facebook, and as usual I click D's to D's friend's blog
It was okay-ish until i browse further down and saw that photo,
I was stunned , I couldn't believe what I saw and after knowing
it more and more, I understand and get the whole picture of it...

I don't know what i should do right now, I never felt that way before
and I was so lost, I even had plans to do and promises to keep with it
with D and at that moment, I couldn't feel myself anymore
I was fighting back my tears, trying to get hold of myself and telling myself
that this could happen anytime, but I just couldn't accept that this happens
too quickly before I knew it, all along I was told that nothing happened
or its all fake.. And I was still telling Jayden about it and that I was going to
start make a move, I even read some great articles on how to, getting all
excited till I read that post.

There is no Right time, Anytime is the Right time ...

I was relating to all the song my playlist was playing, Every song has a phrase to describe exactly how I felt during that time, the person I thought of to shout out my emotion was Jayden, He was there for me and he was the only one I really told to in depth and all...

D was always the one I look for advises and he was someone that makes me immensely happy. He was more than everything.

I didn't even had the chance to pursue what I wanted, instead I was kick out of that game. And it was time to let go? At least that's what they say....
But I thought whatever you do , never leave regrets... But what if that was something you wanted to do but was not given a chance ? Do you still go on with it ?

2years D.... For 2 years You made me want to be a better person, to think about what I want to do in life, To think of what i really have passion for, To think that I still have a long way to go and I should not give up what I have been doing...

Tell me what I should do now D..... For the last time I'm able to call you that.... My D




SHERMINE
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Friday, March 05, 2010